Weary from a long battle against the initial 2mm’s of Psychathane on a fresh set of Death Rays, the cultist ventured to the Cornerstone Slide Jam. Upon arrival, this Spanish Pony and his feral herd were met by a savage horde of thane abusers getting their fix. The skidders grew in numbers quickly as the sun scorched down upon the pagans. These street shredders were skating hard and laying their steeze bare for all to see.

The hill: short, steep, narrow and edged off with used car tyres (more reboundish than hay). The observers: in such a large number that they were only discernible as a seething, inanimate mass of zeen. The contestants: stoke driven, leaving blood, sweat and thane lines on the blacktop.

The course is very slippery. Spectacular bails were expected but instead, these pagans were skilled, maxing the air on the mega ramp, sliding fast and disciplined and providing grand entertainment for the observers and lens-snappers. There was a skidder steezing toesides with his idle arm broken and cast-bound, a buffoon that tested the speed wobble-crash-cum-concussion-muscle-tear-at-least-i-won-a-cap on his flexy bamboo cruiser, a prehistoric pterodactyl rising from the cybercrypt to show us that he truly exists, and a little James Kelly, giving us the promise that the future is deemed to keep.

The fest was organised well and prizes were given away on the basis of need and hunger rather than merit and skill. With the Cornerstone team at the helm, the skidders could max their runs and prove themselves worthy of that prized board, shiny set of wheels, a longboard from china, a new set of “veldskoen” or the best softcore “extreme modelling” calendars that South Africa has to offer.

The “grootvader” Mike Upham took the longest standup slide title. With a slide in the 60ft region on 95a iceblocks, he set a new standard. Mike also killed the miniramp, proving his underratedness to the pagans. Alex Duss and Paul Du Plessis also desecrated the mini-ramp. Some of the mini-pagans that deserve a special mention with their skids are Alex Troy Meyer, Sam Jakins and Tom Rushovich. With oakies like these in our quiver, the future of the saffa-tribe’s skating looks bright. Someone organise the little guy some leathers!

Thanks to the Cornerstone team for organising a great get-together and smashing everyone’s perception of what is possible. Thanks to my good friend and lover Alex Duss for performing the necessary delegations, bribery and consultations with Ceiling Cat in order to make this event a first of many to come.

For those that wondered: Yes, the saffa scene is exploding. Yes, new things are possible, and Yes, YOU are part of it.

Over & out, my fellow skidders.

Written by Gerhard Nel (First Nature and Cult Wheels Ambassador)